Commandments of Saxophonists

1. Thou shalt always flirt with all who are in thy band.

2. Thou shalt flirt with all those outside of thy band.

3. Thou shalt make sexual gestures with thy mouth piece.

4. Thou shalt play thy Saxophone on the right, nay the left.

5. Thou shalt always mock thy Trombone players, even if they are right.

6. Thou shalt always play louder, for thy Band Director can never get enough Saxophone sound.

7. Thou shalt get excited over a new box of reeds.

8. Thou shalt always refer to thy self as Sexyphone.

9. Thou shalt decree all Trumpet players as obnoxious posers with small penises who can not tongue as thou can.

10. Thou shalt fight with the Dumb Majors, as the Dumb Majors are always wrong.

11. Thou shalt not date musicians who are not saxophonists.

12. Thou shalt not regard the French Horns as a superior section.

13. Thy musical line shalt always be more important than the line of the clarinets and flutes.

14. Thou shalt not play without a neckstrap, for this is sacrilegious and does not make thou cool.

15. Thou shalt not glorify spit.

16. Thou shalt build a Wall of Sax in thy jazz band for Saxophones are the most important.

17. Thou shalt never be in tune. To be in tune is to be a brain-washed lump.

18. Thou shalt decree the tempo, dynamic and balance of every piece.

19. Thou shalt always consider using thy sax as a weapon (if need be of course).