Commandments of Saxophonists

1. Thou shalt always flirt with all who are in thy band.

2. Thou shalt flirt with all those outside of thy band.

3. Thou shalt make sexual gestures with thy mouth piece.

4. Thou shalt play thy Saxophone on the right, nay the left.

5. Thou shalt always mock thy Trombone players, even if they are right.

6. Thou shalt always play louder, for thy Band Director can never get enough Saxophone sound.

7. Thou shalt get excited over a new box of reeds.

8. Thou shalt always refer to thy self as Sexyphone.

9. Thou shalt decree all Trumpet players as obnoxious posers with small penises who can not tongue as thou can.

10. Thou shalt fight with the Dumb Majors, as the Dumb Majors are always wrong.

11. Thou shalt not date musicians who are not saxophonists.

12. Thou shalt not regard the French Horns as a superior section.

13. Thy musical line shalt always be more important than the line of the clarinets and flutes.

14. Thou shalt not play without a neckstrap, for this is sacrilegious and does not make thou cool.

15. Thou shalt not glorify spit.

16. Thou shalt build a Wall of Sax in thy jazz band for Saxophones are the most important.

17. Thou shalt never be in tune. To be in tune is to be a brain-washed lump.

18. Thou shalt decree the tempo, dynamic and balance of every piece.

19. Thou shalt always consider using thy sax as a weapon (if need be of course).

Source: uncyclopedia.wikia.com

  1. tonight-you-belong-to-me reblogged this from awildbandgeekappears
  2. lifeismusictomyears reblogged this from awildbandgeekappears and added:
    THIS IS SO FUCKING TRUE! Please read this Dean and Sean!
  3. gatherermydear reblogged this from awildbandgeekappears
  4. radpetunia reblogged this from awildbandgeekappears
  5. orb-unhinge-us reblogged this from awildbandgeekappears and added:
    Emphasis mine.
  6. saxysundevil reblogged this from awildbandgeekappears
  7. daktoabby reblogged this from awildbandgeekappears
  8. simplycarissa reblogged this from awildbandgeekappears
  9. saxophonic-giraffe reblogged this from awildbandgeekappears
  10. tenor-saxophone reblogged this from awildbandgeekappears
  11. filipina-saxophonista reblogged this from awildbandgeekappears
  12. thomas--stilinski reblogged this from awildbandgeekappears
  13. thekingandhishorse reblogged this from awildbandgeekappears
  14. oreothepirateisawesome reblogged this from awildbandgeekappears
  15. judgementocarina reblogged this from awildbandgeekappears
  16. wearethefew reblogged this from fiftywingsanote and added:
    I ALWAYS refer to it as my sexaphone. ;P
  17. kawaiidesucharlesdarwin reblogged this from awildbandgeekappears
  18. fiftywingsanote reblogged this from awildbandgeekappears
  19. my-name-isnt-lauren reblogged this from bewaretheoncomingstorm and added:
    I am not offended. I am laughing my ass off. In a band of 30, when you have 11 saxophones… YOU CAN STILL ALWAYS USE MORE...
  20. bewaretheoncomingstorm reblogged this from awildbandgeekappears
  21. fuckyeahgayguys reblogged this from callmenagini
  22. callmenagini reblogged this from awildbandgeekappears
  23. awildbandgeekappears posted this